Fear of Others Opinions

If you are reading this, the fear of what others think about me finally stopped holding me back. The summer before I started high school I started a blog called Loving-g.l.y. which stood for loving God, life, and you. Once I started high school I cared way too much about what others thought about me and I quickly stopped writing. Since then this idea of a blog to share my thoughts and writing online has been something on my heart that never left. In 2019 before I graduated high school I almost pulled the trigger and launched a blog again. The same fear of what others would think of me stopped me from doing it once again. Since then Love Large has been sitting on my laptop collecting dust.

So what changed?

The place I found my worth changed.

I stopped looking for my worth in the people around me, whether that was the girls that made me feel left out, the boy, family members' opinions, or my friends. I realized that when my worth is placed in people I will get let down ten out of ten times. It doesn't matter who it is, even if it is your very best friend, or your amazing sister, or awesome mom. People are not a sustainable place to find your worth. This isn't to say all people are bad but that people are human and they will mess up, forget and fall short.

The one place I know I can find my worth and never be let down is Jesus. I have experienced it from the hurt of being cheated on, the party my friend didn't invite me to, dealing with heartbreak, the rude comment from a family member, the list goes on. After any time the people I looked to in order to fulfill me and make me feel worthy and seen have let me down, Jesus has always been right there.

He fulfills.

He knows you and loves you.

He is the one who time and time again sees you in your pain and calls you worthy.

He empathizes with the pain we endure when we forget and look to others to fulfill us because He has known the same pain.

When it comes to finding my worth and worrying about what people might think about my actions whether it was the college I chose, an Instagram post, the clubs I joined, or this blog, I have to remind my self that I would rather please God than please the people on this Earth.

- mackenzie