How to Find Community in College

Navigating college can be crazy no matter what town you are in or college you attend. I think you can find community at any college though, you just need to be looking in the right places.

You might be looking for your people in all the wrong places.

You probably won’t find your best friends and bridesmaids at that frat party.

I wish someone had told me that sooner.

I spent my first couple of years of college trying to find myself and my friends in all the wrong places. I tried desperately to make the friends I met in the wrong places be those lifelong friends that I think we all truly want. Long story short those friendships crashed and burned. I hit what felt like an all-time low and ended up moving home for the second semester of my sophomore year. If you knew me before I moved home you probably heard me swear I didn’t think I would ever move home again. Little did I know that it would be one of the best things that ever happened to me in college. I thought that moving home would isolate me from everyone in college. Funny enough though that semester was actually when I made my best friends.

The thing that made the biggest difference for me was getting involved in organizations. Not just being a part of them but actually getting involved and pouring into them. I took a position in the sorority I was in at the time. I got involved with Young Life on my campus. I started going with some of the friends I made from Young Life to The Livingroom at Woodstock City Church on Wednesdays. I tried out different college ministries too with some of those friends.

I said yes to invitations small and large; “Let's grab lunch”, “Come over for a movie night”, or “Let's go on spring break together."

I ended up going on a Young Life leader weekend when I wasn’t even a leader yet.

I went on a spring break trip with 11 people only knowing 2 of them.

I got dragged into going on a blind group date with my friends.

I spent a month at a Young Life camp baking for hundreds of people.

I dropped my sorority in the midst of it all.

I also ended up getting baptized but that is a story for another day.

Young Life Leader Weekend at Windy Gap

By saying yes and pouring into the things I was involved in I began to develop genuine lifelong friends. The kind that will give you the shirt off their back. That will come help you out of a ditch, and if they can’t they will sit with you in it.

Saying yes and getting involved will look different for everyone and the campus you are on. Some important things to remember are:

• The first group or organization you check out might not be for you. Try another one.

• You might outgrow an organization and get involved with something else after a while.

• What worked for your high school friends to find community might not work for you, and that is okay.

• It's also okay to go check out a new organization by yourself after your freshman year. Just because you aren’t a freshman anymore doesn’t mean you can’t rush a sorority, or get involved with an organization.

After going through the rollercoaster that was my sophomore year I ended up getting plugged in with a student ministry called Wave at NorthStar Church from one of the friends I had made. I’ve since joined a small group here and met some amazing friends. I also ended up becoming roommates with a girl who I met through Young Life on my campus. I didn’t know her too well before we signed our lease but I am going on my second year of living with her and her sorority sister. These girls have become some of my best friends. I don’t say all of this to say “Look I got it all figured out and have the best friends ever!” No, (while I do love my friends) I say all of this to say it can take time to find the true lifelong friends you probably want as desperately as I did when I came into college. You might not find them right away, I sure didn’t even though I probably thought I had. If you haven’t found them, keep looking, I promise there is a place for you to find community. Put yourself out there. Say yes to invites small and big. (Just make sure to pass along an invitation to someone else once you have found your community.) Try out different organizations and give them more than one chance. Your people are out there, you just have to look in the right places.

- mackenzie